HALLOWEEN SATIRE

If Snorers Were Characters in a Horror Film

Let’s be clear that snoring is the real horror

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The Farm Animal Snorer = The Idiot Who Gets Killed First

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This snorer sounds like a cross between a grunting pig and a tractor plowing through a field. They are by far the most killable kind of snorers.

In a horror movie, they’d be the character who decides to “check out the noise outside” while everyone else yells, “Don’t go out there!” But off they go, into the woods at night, loudly munching on snacks, and shouting “is anyone there?”

Naturally, they are the first to die. And you’re glad they are.

The Whistler = The Paranoid Conspiracy Theorist

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Their snoring is peppered with a faint, high-pitched whistling sound that drives you just a little bit nuts, even though it’s arguable better than the farm animal snore.